Love and Compassion

I’ve actually had enough.

I’ll probably end up on the long list of stereotypical, passive-aggressive Canadians by posting this page of frustrations but, I’m done. When I’d rather “write a letter,” rant through the printed word or put my thoughts out there for three people to see and probably not change anything, you know I’m really fed up.

The thing is things need to change. And if three people think about this, that’s three people more than before.

So what’s the deal?

Im actually appalled by our Canadian health care. Wait. I’m actually appalled by some of our Canadian health care WORKERS.

OUCH.

Before you send me your blasphemes and “how could you’s” know that I have met some incredible health care providers. Some of my good friends are nurses, doctors, physicians,  pharmacists…. The list goes on. Some of the most compassionate, caring and genuine people I’ve met have been in a hospital.

But so are the most rude, selfish human beings I’ve ever come in contact with.

Something is wrong here.

Typically  you don’t go to a doctor’s office or, Lord help us, the emergency room, when you’re feeling perfectly fine. You go there because you feel awful. You’re in pain, you’re super sick or you’re just at your wits end of how to best care for your loved ones.

The thing is, I’ve had my share of time in these same offices and hospitals, clinics and waiting rooms. I’ve had a few years of being bumped from one doctor to another because I was sick but no one could find a diagnosis. I’ve taken my son to the clinic for bronchiolitis and helped my husband out of the back of an SUV to his hospital bed because he couldn’t stand up…or sit down.

It was in those times of frustration, helplessness and total dependency that I have been made to feel my very worst.

Take the time our family doctor walked into the emergency room, my husband going on 48 hours of excruciating pain and needing morphine, and the doctor reprimanding him for telling the ER nurses that he had a family doctor “because, (he) hadn’t been home yet to have lunch today.” Are you kidding me? My apologies for this unrelenting nerve pain that has left my hubby prostrate on the floor. Please, go eat a leisurely lunch on your scheduled on-call shift.

Or what about the time the nurse practitioner told me it was “people, like yourself, who don’t get the flu vaccine that put the elderly and young, like YOUR SON, at risk of death.” And then went on to list the many flu-related child deaths that had occurred in my very province that year. He didn’t even have the flu but I felt like the worst mother on earth.

I personally liked it when I was passed over in my early twenties time and time again with gastrointestinal problems as soon as they asked me what my profession was. Immediately, they concluded that lean, model, and stomach issues must mean I’m anorexic and dismissed assessing the real issue. I wasn’t anorexic.

But wait, there’s more. Recently, I sat in a minor injury clinic with my husband who is battling a herniated disc. His pain is horrendous. He just needs help. And when he couldn’t answer the detailed question she asked regarding a back injury that had occurred in his teens, she looked at him bitterly and said “I truly feel sorry for you if you’re only 31 and can’t remember something that happened when you were 18. That’s pretty young to lose your memory.” Wow.

Why are we all so selfish? Why can’t we look past the fact that lunchtime was two hours ago and realize that the guy in front of you is actually in anguish and came to you because he’s at a loss of what to do. Believe me, he’d rather be at home having lunch,too.

Why not put yourself in that Mom’s shoes and think about how it would feel if you brought your sick, fevering toddler for help, because you were worried and didn’t know what else to do, feeling guilty and racking your brain of how you could have prevented it, wishing that it was you coughing up a lung instead of your precious offspring, and then being told that it was your fault that he was probably going to die too. How would that feel?

Why not listen to the young-twenty something rather than dismissing their situation due to your preconceived perception of their own poor choices?

Why not just be nice?

Smile.

And this goes beyond health care.

This is for all humanity.

What ever happened to compassion?

What ever happened to love?

These are things that should be universal.  No matter your profession, culture or religion. It’s true that I believe God is love and we should love our neighbors as we love ourselves. It’s true that I live my life to follow Christ’s and find life-giving truths in the Bible. But it doesn’t matter whether you profess yourself as a Christian, Buddhist or Muslim. Love tends to be a common theme throughout. Whether in the Christian Bible, a Muslim Hadeeth or the teachings of Buddha, loving one another and wanting others to be free from suffering are laced throughout each one of these primary world religions.  Am I always good at doing that? No. But without love, we’re in shambles. Without empathy and compassion, we’re just a heartless mass of people too focused on our own lives to build up and make this world a better place.

Stop being so self absorbed that you miss the person silently pleading for your help.

Even when you feel like you have nothing to give. Nothing to help. A word of encouragement goes a long, long way. It wasn’t just the pain meds that eventually helped my husband this week. It was the people who let him know they cared. It was the friends and nurses who smiled and checked in on him, even when they weren’t on his case.

Love and compassion can be the difference in a really tough, painful day.

Everyone is capable of that.